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NOT GOING TO A BIRTHDAY PARTY

I’ve got another birthday party on the night.

I’ve got 2 other birthday parties on that night.

LEAVING WORK EARLY

I have to pick up my brother from the airport.

I just received a call from my neighbor and he said that my hot water service busted and that hot water is flooding everywhere at my place.

NOT GOING OUT

I’ve got my cousins coming over for a visit.

funny excuses

I’ve already got plans. I need to rearrange my sock drawer.

HAVING A HICKEY

I’m not sure but the doctor says that it looks like a bad reaction to an insect bite.

NOT DONATING MONEY TO A CHARITY

I’ve already made a donation last week.

I’ve already made a donation online.

I don’t have cash on my now but I’ll be able to make a donation to you online.

Sorry but things are a little tight this week. I’ll keep you in mind next month.

NOT VOTING

I didn’t realize that the election was today/yesterday/date.

I was unexpectedly out of town.

LEAVING A FIRST DATE EARLY

I just received a call that my grandmother just suffered a fall and I need to urgently go and help her.

LEAVING A PARTY EARLY

You need to go to another party tonight.

LEAVING A PARTY GUEST

I just need to go to the restroom, back soon.

NOT ANSWERING THE PHONE

I was in a meeting.

My parents were over and I didn’t realize my phone had rung.

My phone was on silent and I did t realize that it had rung.

BEING OVERWEIGHT

funny excuses

I’m not fat I’m big boned.

BEING OUT OF SHAPE

It’s he off season I’m going to get back into it next month.

NOT PAYING A PARKING TICKET

My car battery was flat and I couldn’t start the car.

BUYING SHOES

They were just so dam cheap.

I haven’t bought a pair in ages.

LOOKING STONED

I think I’m coming down with a cold.

NOT BRINGING IN YOUR HOME WORK

I left it on the kitchen table

NOT HAVING ID

I lost my wallet yesterday and I’ve reported it got the police. I’m getting issued a new one in the next few days.

EXCUSE FOR NOT HAVING A GIRLFRIEND

I’m still looking for ms right.

EXCUSE FOR NOT HAVING A BOYFRIEND

I’m still looking for Mr right.

HAVING A BLACK EYE

I fell down he stairs.

EXCUSE FOR HAVING BRUISES

I fell down the stairs.

EXCUSE FOR HAVING A BROKEN ARM

I fell down the stairs.

HAVING A BROKEN LEG

I fell down the stairs.

NOT INVITING SOMEONE TO THE MOVIES

NOT INVITING SOMEONE OUT

We just decided to go on the spare of the moment.

We thought that you were busy tonight.

Do I have to call everyone I know every time I decide to leave the house.

NOT INVITING SOMEONE ON A HOLIDAY

We’ll I was just talking to [other friends name] and we said how about Hawaii. I ended up getting a quote from my travel agent and then me and [other friends name] decided to book.

HAVING BAD GRADES

My teacher(s) have it in for me.

CRYING

I’ve got something in my eye.

I’ve some bad hay fever coming on.

SECRETLY HAVING COSMETIC SURGERY

Well it’s kinda personal but I went and saw the doctor and he said that I need to have a minor operation. Nothing major but I’m a lot better now.

HAVING SURGRY

Well it’s kinda personal but I went and saw the doctor and he said that I need to have a minor operation. Nothing major but I’m a lot better now.

NOT HAVING A DOCTORS NOTE

I left the note at at the doctors office.

BEING LATE FOR WORK

The hot water service broke down and I had to drive to a friends house to use their shower.

CALLING IN SICK FOR WORK

I need to care for my sick spouse / child / sibling.

My wisdom teeth are causing me tremendous pain.

My dog is sick and I have to take it to the vet urgently.

I’ve been up all night with was appears to be food positioning or gastro. I think it could be really contagious.

NOT HAVING A JOB

It’s really tough out there.

I just can’t find a poison that I really like.

NOT ATTENDING A WORK MEETING

Opps! I’m really sorry I didn’t realize that the meeting was today.

NOT HAVING A TRANSPORT TICKET

I tried to buy a ticket but the ticket machine displayed on the screen ‘out of service’.

NOT WANTING TO HAVE SEX(FEMALE)

I’ve got my period

NOT ACCEPTING A FACEBOOK FRIEND REQUEST.

I have a Facebook account but I just do use Facebook much.

funny

I have a 28 day quarantine period before accepting any requests.

FORGETTING AN ANNIVERSARY

Yeah I know it’s today. And I’ve got a bug surprise planned. It should be arriving any minute.

NOT DOING HOMEWORK

I had a really bad head ache and had to go to bed early.

NOT STAYING BACK AT WORK

I have to meet a friend for dinner.

I have my in-laws coming over for dinner.

I need to pick up the kids from childcare/school.

ENDING A PHONE CALL

It was great talking to you. I just remembered that I need to call my grandmother and wish her a happy birthday.

Hey I gotta go I can hear someone knocking at the front door.

NOT WANTING TO GO TO THE BEACH

I’ve got a bit of a stomach ache. You guys go and if I’m feeling a little better I’ll meet you guys there.

NOT REPLYING TO A TEXT MESSAGE

I feel asleep.

I never received it.

Oh yeah sorry, I skimmed your message but then forgot to reply later on.

My phones been playing up.

I left my phone at home/work.

GENERIC EXCUSES

I’ve got a family commitment.

I’ve got gastro.

I’ve got personal reasons.

I’ve got a really bad migraine.

I’ve got an appointment.

EXCUSES THAT ALLOW YOU TO BACK OUT LATER

I’ll meet you there later on.

I just need to check my diary/calendar.

TELLING A BAD JOKE.

The guy at the gas station thought it was funny.

BREAKING UP WITH BOYFRIEND

funny excuses

It’s not you it’s me.

BREAKING UP WITH GIRLFRIEND

funny excuses

It’s not you it’s me.